I loved reading this Fiona! Both of my births were really similar to yours. I even have a picture like yours where the tear is pooled in the corner of your eye. What a surreal experience the whole thing is.
The hip dysplasia sounds horrific. I didn’t even know that was possible from childbirth. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
That’s what it was described to me as being like. I don’t know if that is the correct terminology. I’ve heard pelvic tilt, or just uneven hips…I also have one leg that is shorter than the other by a smidge which doesn’t help. Turns out this time it was me damaging a disc from coughing. It wasn’t even my coccyx! Thank you for reading. I am so sorry you also went through something similar, but I am sure you received two beautiful blessings from the pain. No regerts.
So proud of you and all you accomplished through all the trials... I've told you before I wish I could work on you and help with your pain 😭 if you ever want to do pelvic floor exercises with me over video chat I'm here for it. Love you! And such cutie pictures! 🥹✨
So proud of you for pursuing options, doctors can be so pushy and certain without much evidence or thought. I worked in a hospital and I learned how full of crap most of them are. There's amazing ones, don't get me wrong, but seems to be a rarity. So glad you had that acknowledgement of how amazing you did in childbirth because it's true. 💜
I hope your pain eases soon my friend! I've been dealing with some health issues myself and have ups and downs. I can't imagine the pain you have, but hold on to that resilience.
I was a phlebotomist! I have a series started called Stabbing and Labbing about my journey with the trade lol I need to write more for that. I loved it, was all about high quality patient care and easily one of my favorite jobs next to waitressing. I worked with a lot of social workers in my time not only in the hospital. I administered drug screens for CPS clients.
Got mad respect for you all and the positive difference social workers make. I know it's far from easy, but it's very much a job with purpose where thoughtful empathetic people are needed. I can tell you're right for the job. 🙂
And thank you for your kind words. This series sounds amazing and I want to check it out! So cool. Phlebotomy is one of my favorite words. 😂 Sounds like you've done a lot of work in your life that made a difference.
It's one of my favorites too! 🤣 It rolls off the tongue real nice haha. And I tried very hard to! I cared a lot about taking something so dreadful and making it seem not so bad. That was my mission statement lol.
I hope your CPS workers were under an agency that cared...I usually deal with more APS workers and our DHS services in this state are all corrupt. The workers are all over worked and burnt out. They can't keep any good people. Especially the bigger counties.
Well, my experience with local social workers was far different than those in other counties. I saw how deep the corruption goes, and I usually remained objective, but I helped one girl write a letter to the governor so she could get her kids back. It had been over a year, and she was a domestic violence victim who smoked pot. They literally wanted to take her kids and adopt them out, regardless of the fact she had been actively working the program. I saw people on hard drugs get their kids back after 6 months. So my opinion isn't all good, I have a lot of thoughts about CPS and the system. Many are not good, but my personal solution isn't condemnation of social workers, it's revamping and improving the structure of the system so social workers have better support and guidance to ensure children are protected, emotionally and physically. Sorry about this long comment!! I have too much to say sometimes. 🤣
Oh! I absolutely agree! The system creates the problem where the social workers suffer and then that flows down into the rest of society. I'm writing a book about the "forgotten people". It isn't just CPS or APS. It starts at the capital and corruption goes all the way down. The workers are told to be complicit. The good ones leave. Even in my own job I was told we could not escalate any problems that we see with the local appointed guardian and conservator, simply because they don't want to piss the judge off. And this guy is ruining one of my patients lives. I'll have to write about it. I want the conclusion to happen before I sit down to do it but I fear it may never end until he dies in our hospital.
That's insane, I never really considered how deep the corruption would run, so that's super insightful! Thank you for writing about something so so important, people need to be more aware of how deep the issue runs! I hope your patient gets the justice and respect to his rights that he deserves. I just went through an ethics course and so much about that violates the process of ethical decision making.
Dang woman I’m so sorry. I wish I could send my massage therapist to you. My own hips are affected by ongoing pelvic tilt issues that cause that random debilitating pain also. So I totally feel you and it sucks. But I’m glad you’re taking all the steps, you deserve to live without this stopping you in your tracks.
This is such an open piece. Thank you for sharing your life with us in such an intimate and honest way. I hope you start feeling better soon! I look forward to reading more of your work.
I adore this- not the pain, of course. The journey. The 'I'd do it again to have this boy' despite what it cost me. And that doctor? that would support you regardless, just call me? what a find. So rare these days. Wishing you a speedy recovery. 🫶
Wow I was hooked from the first to the last line. This reminded me of my own complications during my high risk pregnancy. And how I managed it all. But you my lady are an inspiration and I am so proud of you . I am really amazed at how brave you are.
My son’s head was all large and they had to pull him with a vacuum because he wouldn’t budge .
Isn't that interesting? Little pliable heads. Glad your son is A-okay. I'm sure you'd do it all over again too. Such a blessing those little a-holes are. My son is 14 now and still, every day is a blessing.
Yes it is but being a mother is such a blessing and yes for him I would go through it all over again if I needed too he is my whole world and mean everything to me. I am glad your son is grown up now and your blessing ♥️♥️
There’s something unflinchingly human in this Fiona, how pain, memory, birth, rupture, care, and endurance all fold into the same continuous body of experience without ever becoming separate categories.
What stays with me most is the quiet insistence that complexity doesn’t cancel gratitude, it sits alongside it, often unresolvable, yet fully lived. The body here is not abstracted; it remembers everything at once.
My respect to all the women who pursue higher education while carrying children, especially newborns and sometimes also the added load of partners and relational worlds that require care at the same time. There’s a scale of effort here that rarely gets named with enough seriousness.
Also, your baby’s video genuinely brought a smile to my face, there’s something so immediate in that kind of joy that cuts through everything else.
And still, amid it all, what comes through is persistence, not as heroism, but as daily continuation through what the body never fully forgets.
Hope you feel better soon. Your son is absolutely adorable. I have a similar story with an emergency c-section. It was harrowing to say the least, but as you said so worth it.
Oh, Fiona!! So sorry you're in so much pain.😔 I sincerely hope you start feeling better ASAP. On a happier note, your son is gorgeous. It's beautiful to read how proud of him you are.❤️
Thank you Alicia! I'm pain free as long as I don't move- or cough- gratitude lol. I really appreciate you. He really is beautiful. Thank you so much for reading. ❤️
Really powerful! Thank you for sharing such a harrowing journey!
Thank you Andy! Can you add it your world and have @Sam’s Spaghetti put a spell on me? 😂
That was absolutely inspiring to read. I hope you find some healing soon.
❤️ thank you!
Your baby is so adorable I love birth stories and this one was harrowing. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain!
Feeling much better after rest and two Chiro visits. Thank you thank you! 😊🙏
I loved reading this Fiona! Both of my births were really similar to yours. I even have a picture like yours where the tear is pooled in the corner of your eye. What a surreal experience the whole thing is.
The hip dysplasia sounds horrific. I didn’t even know that was possible from childbirth. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
That’s what it was described to me as being like. I don’t know if that is the correct terminology. I’ve heard pelvic tilt, or just uneven hips…I also have one leg that is shorter than the other by a smidge which doesn’t help. Turns out this time it was me damaging a disc from coughing. It wasn’t even my coccyx! Thank you for reading. I am so sorry you also went through something similar, but I am sure you received two beautiful blessings from the pain. No regerts.
No regerts at all. 🫶
So proud of you and all you accomplished through all the trials... I've told you before I wish I could work on you and help with your pain 😭 if you ever want to do pelvic floor exercises with me over video chat I'm here for it. Love you! And such cutie pictures! 🥹✨
Let's do it one day over a live! 😂
I would be down! 😂😂🧘🏽♀️
So proud of you for pursuing options, doctors can be so pushy and certain without much evidence or thought. I worked in a hospital and I learned how full of crap most of them are. There's amazing ones, don't get me wrong, but seems to be a rarity. So glad you had that acknowledgement of how amazing you did in childbirth because it's true. 💜
I hope your pain eases soon my friend! I've been dealing with some health issues myself and have ups and downs. I can't imagine the pain you have, but hold on to that resilience.
Kayla I'm a hospital social worker! What did you do? And thank you for your words of support. I appreciate it so much.
I was a phlebotomist! I have a series started called Stabbing and Labbing about my journey with the trade lol I need to write more for that. I loved it, was all about high quality patient care and easily one of my favorite jobs next to waitressing. I worked with a lot of social workers in my time not only in the hospital. I administered drug screens for CPS clients.
Got mad respect for you all and the positive difference social workers make. I know it's far from easy, but it's very much a job with purpose where thoughtful empathetic people are needed. I can tell you're right for the job. 🙂
And thank you for your kind words. This series sounds amazing and I want to check it out! So cool. Phlebotomy is one of my favorite words. 😂 Sounds like you've done a lot of work in your life that made a difference.
It's one of my favorites too! 🤣 It rolls off the tongue real nice haha. And I tried very hard to! I cared a lot about taking something so dreadful and making it seem not so bad. That was my mission statement lol.
I hope your CPS workers were under an agency that cared...I usually deal with more APS workers and our DHS services in this state are all corrupt. The workers are all over worked and burnt out. They can't keep any good people. Especially the bigger counties.
Well, my experience with local social workers was far different than those in other counties. I saw how deep the corruption goes, and I usually remained objective, but I helped one girl write a letter to the governor so she could get her kids back. It had been over a year, and she was a domestic violence victim who smoked pot. They literally wanted to take her kids and adopt them out, regardless of the fact she had been actively working the program. I saw people on hard drugs get their kids back after 6 months. So my opinion isn't all good, I have a lot of thoughts about CPS and the system. Many are not good, but my personal solution isn't condemnation of social workers, it's revamping and improving the structure of the system so social workers have better support and guidance to ensure children are protected, emotionally and physically. Sorry about this long comment!! I have too much to say sometimes. 🤣
Oh! I absolutely agree! The system creates the problem where the social workers suffer and then that flows down into the rest of society. I'm writing a book about the "forgotten people". It isn't just CPS or APS. It starts at the capital and corruption goes all the way down. The workers are told to be complicit. The good ones leave. Even in my own job I was told we could not escalate any problems that we see with the local appointed guardian and conservator, simply because they don't want to piss the judge off. And this guy is ruining one of my patients lives. I'll have to write about it. I want the conclusion to happen before I sit down to do it but I fear it may never end until he dies in our hospital.
That's insane, I never really considered how deep the corruption would run, so that's super insightful! Thank you for writing about something so so important, people need to be more aware of how deep the issue runs! I hope your patient gets the justice and respect to his rights that he deserves. I just went through an ethics course and so much about that violates the process of ethical decision making.
Congratulations on a beautiful baby and your degree! You deserved more support than you got and I’m thankful you shared. ❤️🌈
Aww thank you so much!!!! 🥰
Dang woman I’m so sorry. I wish I could send my massage therapist to you. My own hips are affected by ongoing pelvic tilt issues that cause that random debilitating pain also. So I totally feel you and it sucks. But I’m glad you’re taking all the steps, you deserve to live without this stopping you in your tracks.
I'm so sorry! 😐 I hate to hear of anyone else struggling with that.
Beautiful
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you Cindy
He’s so cute and so precious; very intelligent it seems. I loved your story here about him! 🤗🙏😊
Thank you Tammy ❤️❤️❤️
This is such an open piece. Thank you for sharing your life with us in such an intimate and honest way. I hope you start feeling better soon! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you for reading! ☺️
I adore this- not the pain, of course. The journey. The 'I'd do it again to have this boy' despite what it cost me. And that doctor? that would support you regardless, just call me? what a find. So rare these days. Wishing you a speedy recovery. 🫶
Thanks Roger! I appreciate you reading. The pain inspired this piece too. It also made me slow down.
And yes! He's still my doctor to this day. Have my yearly with him next week. I do not look forward to when he retires.
Wow I was hooked from the first to the last line. This reminded me of my own complications during my high risk pregnancy. And how I managed it all. But you my lady are an inspiration and I am so proud of you . I am really amazed at how brave you are.
My son’s head was all large and they had to pull him with a vacuum because he wouldn’t budge .
Wow being a mother is not easy 😅
Thank you for reading! 🙏 I'm sorry you had to go through any complications
Well being a mother is not easy literally and figuratively, but it’s the worth the risk every bit of it as you know it better too 😊
Absolutely 💯 🫂
My nephew got the vaccum and he has a triangle head for a few weeks 😂
I couldn’t edit the typos the dark screen doesn’t allow me to see what I am styling 😅😅
Haha same my son had it for a few weeks or a month or two I guess it looked so funny and odd I was scared at first.
Isn't that interesting? Little pliable heads. Glad your son is A-okay. I'm sure you'd do it all over again too. Such a blessing those little a-holes are. My son is 14 now and still, every day is a blessing.
Yes it is but being a mother is such a blessing and yes for him I would go through it all over again if I needed too he is my whole world and mean everything to me. I am glad your son is grown up now and your blessing ♥️♥️
Same to you friend. ❤️❤️
There’s something unflinchingly human in this Fiona, how pain, memory, birth, rupture, care, and endurance all fold into the same continuous body of experience without ever becoming separate categories.
What stays with me most is the quiet insistence that complexity doesn’t cancel gratitude, it sits alongside it, often unresolvable, yet fully lived. The body here is not abstracted; it remembers everything at once.
My respect to all the women who pursue higher education while carrying children, especially newborns and sometimes also the added load of partners and relational worlds that require care at the same time. There’s a scale of effort here that rarely gets named with enough seriousness.
Also, your baby’s video genuinely brought a smile to my face, there’s something so immediate in that kind of joy that cuts through everything else.
And still, amid it all, what comes through is persistence, not as heroism, but as daily continuation through what the body never fully forgets.
Thank you Dipti! You're so kind.
That was not kindness. That was how I read and felt your piece. And I say again thank you.
It's just so kind of you to take the time and read and comment, and let me know what you think ❤️❤️
Hope you feel better soon. Your son is absolutely adorable. I have a similar story with an emergency c-section. It was harrowing to say the least, but as you said so worth it.
The end result ❤️🫂 feel free to share if you ever want to. And thank you!
Oh, Fiona!! So sorry you're in so much pain.😔 I sincerely hope you start feeling better ASAP. On a happier note, your son is gorgeous. It's beautiful to read how proud of him you are.❤️
Thank you Alicia! I'm pain free as long as I don't move- or cough- gratitude lol. I really appreciate you. He really is beautiful. Thank you so much for reading. ❤️